Wednesday, April 30, 2008
This includes but is not limited to moving away from family and friends, the loss of a pet, divorce or a close family moving away from you. I have seen patients who loose a limb also go through these five steps.
I will list the stages for you here and in the following blog entries I will give more information on each stage. It is important to understand these stages to better help you and your child cope with the current crisis. Understanding and identifying where you or your loved one are within the process will give you the patience to cope and the ability to find resources for assistance.
The five stages are:
More on each stage soon. For now, enjoy the moment.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Learn to take a deep breath and enjoy those 10 seconds of relaxation, guilt free. Practice letting go of the things you can't control, if only for a moment. Enjoy the first signs of spring, the smell of fresh air, the sunshine in the early morning, or the moon at night. The key here is to seek those precious few moments in time and to feel them, smell them, touch them, and to soak every last second of that time into your soul. That is how you find peace and gain energy to face whatever comes next.
My prayer for every parent watching their child go through an illness, is that they find those few moments of peace where they can look down at their resting child, be thankful and feel pure joy. Because, with all of the medical advances, we will never have all of the answers to why children become ill and even die. But we should grab every moment we can to love our children and feel pure joy, if for only a moment.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
I believe an overlooked group of people who suffer through grief would be college age students. These young men and women often come home from visits with terminally ill parents or siblings and are sent back to college to study hard. They are expected to go on with their lives. Most think this is a good distraction. Some think it will keep their minds off of what is happening at home or it will make their loss less because they are so focused on school.
These young men and women hurt, they grieve, and sometimes they feel very alone. That is what is so awesome about the organizations sprouting up on college campuses all across America. David Fajgenbaum started the first group after his own mother passed away. The National Students of Ailing Mothers and Fathers Support Network (http://www.studentsofamf.org/) has grown and expanded to support college students and empowering these students to grieve.It allows them to go beyond the grief to do something positive like raising funds to fight diseases like cancer and AlS. Visit their website for more information about these great young men and women and the impact they are making on campuses today.
They also recommend a book on their website titled: Always Too Soon...by author Allison Gilbert. This is an intimate collection from celebrities and other young men and women about how to deal with the death of a loved one and how they have coped. Visit the authors website for more about this moving book. It is very touching and heartfelt. I would recommend it as a thoughtful gift for others experiencing the deep loss of a parent or loved one. It is something that could be reread throughout periods of the grieving process. The site is http://alwaystoosoon.com/
The National Students of Ailing Mothers and Fathers Support Network has a free newsletter that students can receive via email when they sign up on the website. You can also see other ways to get involved with the group or to start your own chapter on your college campus. Kudos to David Fajgenbaum and his members for filling a need when they saw it and going beyond their grief to help others.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
http://www.cancer.org/docroot/NWS/content/NWS_2_1x_Discussing_Death_with_a_Dying_Child.aspDiscussing Death with a Dying Child... A new study may help parents make one of the most difficult decisions they could ever face: whether to discuss death with a child dying of cancer.------No matter who you are, the American Cancer Society can help. Whether you've got questions about cancer treatment, are looking to stay healthy, want to learn more about cancer, or just want to get involved--ACS has an entire online community devoted to people just like you.Visit us at http://www.cancer.org/ to find answers, get the facts, see the latest cancer news, share your experience, and learn how you can make a difference. Please do not send any replies to the automated cancer.org email address above. To contact the American Cancer Society online, please go to http://www.cancer.org/docroot/cus/cus_0.asp.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
Monday, April 7, 2008
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
With that in mind ,I hope everyone who reads this blog is taking time to be grateful for one thing today. Here in the Midwest, it is cloudy and dull, For some of you your personal health crisis or situation may also feel cloudy and dull. However, I find if we all take the time to focus on one thing everyday that we are grateful for , it does improve the mood for the day. I credit the sick kids I care for in the intensive care unit for showing me how true these words are.
Never a shift goes by that one of the kids or their parents don't show gratitude. It is amazing to me how children who are dying and their parents can still take the time to thank me for a pillow. They show gratitude for the simple things that I take for granted, like ice in their water, a popsicle, pain medicines given on time or before they have to ask. They thank me for the care that they should expect and the care that God calls me to give. Yet they thank me. And it feels good.
So when I am feeling cloudy and dull myself, (notice I avoid the word depression as I feel at this time of year we all feel cloudy and dull waiting on spring to arrive), I try my best to be thankful for someone or something. It isn't always easy, sometimes I really want to whine. But when I do it, I really do feel better and can be more productive with both my nursing care and my writing.
So today I am thankful that I don't have to face anyone in person, I can stay in my old sweats all day, and I can still get online and be productive. Oh yea, and I am making a pan of fudge. That I am most grateful for. And please keep visiting, as I am also grateful to you, the reader of these words. Know that I truly appreciate each and everyone of you. Have a great day.