Saturday, June 28, 2008

New Blogs sites I recommend

Hi all,

I just wanted to tell you about two new blogs that I think you might find interesting. One is and it is written by author Dorothy Massey. She is an expert in literacy and also the author of fiction for children. Her site will give you information about authors for children in the UK. She also has articles and information on literacy and helping your child to enjoy reading. She will be searching for books dealing with terminal illness and death and dying in the children's book arena in the UK for review on this blog and my website as well.

The second site is also by a children's author, Theresa Schultz. Her site is Here parents will find great information about parenting at all stages of life. Show the curiosity of an alpaca and check out both of these new sites as they will add great information for parents and kids.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

New Web page with blog for kids who are experiencing a loss

Do you ever feel like the lone tree in a forest of confusion? Teens, do you feel out of place because of an illness, because of what you are going through, or because you look at life differently than your peers. As a pediatric nurse and mom I understand what you are going through. If you are the sibling of a patient going through a health crisis, you too may feel out of place and need to share your feelings.
Visit my website at and click on the page titled Kids Words and Then Some..... Here I have designed a page/blog just for you. Kids of all ages who are experiencing a loss or have been dealing with an illness now have a safe place to write what they feel or to ask questions of me or their peers. I have the medical background to help you find answers to questions you may not feel comfortable asking. I also feel it is important for you to have a place to talk if you are scared or feel alone. Parents are free to explore the website for resources and book reviews too.
When a child is ill, the whole family goes through a variety of stressful feelings and painful subjects open up. My site will hopefully provide some extra information and guidance for coping with all of the stress you are encountering.
Check it out.... soon I will have a newsletter too, and will be looking for ideas from you for content. Be sure and fill out the comment section if you have any ideas.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Book Review- When Your Grandparent Dies: A Child's Guide to Good Grief

When Your Grandparent Dies- A Child's Guide to Good Grief

Author- Victoria Ryan

Illustrated by- R.W.Ryan

This is a great book to read to your children when a grandparent dies. It is such a painful time when a grandparent is gone, because someone also has lost a beloved parent. The pain for the adults may make it difficult to find the right words to help a child with his or her grief.

This book is just what you need to bridge the gap between what you want to share with your child and what is too painful to find the right words to express. The pages are delightfully illustrated with the elf character present in other Elf Help Books. Kids love the pictures and the text is honest and objective so will not interfere with family values or cultures.

This book is at your library or local bookstore. You and your children will find the book a help in this sad time.

Friday, June 20, 2008

I now have a website

Just a quick note to all of my readers of the blog. I now have a website where you can join the mailing list. In the spirit of becoming a" real writer" I have started this website to develop a mailing list and a place to send a newsletter. Soon there will be a free e-book regarding the steps in the grieving process for readers to download as well as a monthly newsletter with more information and resources to check out. I hope you will follow there as well as the blog, as I will be trying to do both. On the web site I plan on having a blog directed more to children, both healthy and sick. I think it will be a great place to get feedback from the kids as well as the adults visiting the site.

Thanks for your interest and your support

Monday, June 16, 2008

Another blog to check out........

I am always on the lookout for other sources for parents and siblings who are going through the deep pain of grief. I want to provide as many resources and spiritual encouragement sites that I can. The intent is to give encouragement for those suffering or traveling that roller coaster journey of illness and impending or sudden death, and to remind each of you that there is a light. With that being said, I want to encourage you to check out the blog site of Lysa Terkeurst at Proverbs31 ministries. The site is Scroll down to May 23 and her post on DEEP GRIEF. She puts into words exactly how some of you are feeling. It won't change the fact that you are grieving and it may not ease the pain right now. It will let you know that others have followed the same path of sorrow. It will show you that there is healing. And it will make you feel heard. And for some of you, that is a big step. Healing is that, just a step... one small step at a time.

Another site which I have mentioned before is Jewel is the author of Flying Hugs and Kisses. She addresses grief at her blog as well. With both personal and professional experience with grief, Jewel offers wonderful advice and insight into this painful topic.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Celebrate and Support Dad's This Sunday.

This Fathers day, reach out and celebrate your dad. If you don't have one, celebrate other dads you know. And make a special effort to comfort and support any dad that you know who may have a child suffering through a health crisis, or worse yet, a child who is terminal. There is information out there for women who are grieving, but there is not much information for men. And what information is available, is not always sought after by men. Men tend to think they should be able to fix things, to be tough, to not need the support of others, or to even be angry at
a situation beyond their control. Give those dads a hug today. Let them know they are not alone, they can not fix everything, nor do we expect them to. We (meaning the women and children in their lives) need to be loved. We need to know that we matter, and that you would fix it if you could, and that is enough.
So pass out those hugs, give those dads out there permission to not be perfect. And spread the praise for all that they do to care for you. And have a great father's day.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Wedding Blessings

Just an update for those of you who read my blog regularly. Earlier in the spring I mentioned my daughter's friend who was planning her wedding when her father was suddenly diagnosed with a terminal cancer. God is good and the wedding took place as planned. It was beautiful and bittersweet.
Her father has lost weight, was fatigued and I am certain in pain. However, his selfless love shined as he walked his only daughter down the aisle, danced the cherished father-daughter dance, and was able to spend the entire evening ( somewhat shortened ) enjoying family and friends. I cried like a baby watching the two of them share such an intimate moment on that dance floor and I felt blessed to be a part of what God knew would be the perfect occasion on the perfect day.
So remember, no matter what you believe, stay in the moment. Waste not a moment in worry, but enjoy the present. Even in sadness, look for the blessings, and hang on to the memories. They will stay with you forever, so make them happy. In the end, they are all you have.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

A grief blog to check out.....

Grief can be like a stone mountain. You can't get over it, You can't get around it, and You feel like you are never going to get through it.
Visit for advice and to connect with others who are going through the same stone mountain. Sometimes you just need to talk to or (blog with) others that are objective but have been going through the same pain. Check it out and connect to someone who understands.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Include The Siblings Please

I had another experience in the old famous pediatric intensive care that has brought home to me my passion for including the siblings in the end of life issues a family deals with.
We had an absolutely adorable seven year old tragically hit by a car and was left terminally brain injured. The accident happened quickly and in front of the older brother.
However, as his life ebbed away in the few hours he was our patient, the brother was left to deal with the incident on his own. The parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles all so overwhelmed with sorrow, walked in and out of the room leaning on each other. Each and every time the brother entered or left the room, he was crying and alone. Never once did I witness family members comforting or holding or even seeming to notice the teen boy in the background.
I am not judging, and I don't mean to assume that no one ever spoke to the young man when I was not around. I can only speak for what I saw. And what I saw was an awkward teen sobbing his heart out, trying to hide his face in his baggy hoody away from the eyes of the staff.
I implore any parent or grandparent going through similar tragic circumstances to reach out to the siblings, especially the awkward teen siblings whose hearts are also broken. When possible, allow them to be a part of decisions and discussions. Recognize their pain, and understand it runs as deep as yours. Understand that they may not express it in the same way we would, and that they may pull away and retreat. Reach for them, love them, and let them know they are still an important part of the family unit. It is important to their grieving and will help you all hang on.