Monday, May 5, 2008

Bargaining, The Third Stage

The third stage in the death and dying process is bargaining. Here is when you try to make deals with "God". " I will do this if you will just heal my child" or " I promise to do anything, give up smoking, eat right, save all my money, give all of it away, whatever it takes to heal or save my loved one or myself."

Bargaining involves promises and wishes and unrealistic expectations. It occurs after you are angry but before you are ready to accept the entire diagnosis and prognosis of the situation.

Remembering this can occur with any significant loss, this is also when promises are made to save relationships for instance. The promises are usually made without validity and most often the outcome doesn't change. It is through the process that a person changes his or her mindset and learns to use other means to cope and accept the situation or illness.

Next up.... the fourth stage.

Blessings to all.


Donna McDine ~ Children's Author said...

Terri...your explanation of stages is very enlighting. Have you thought of developing a FREE e-Book around this topic? I'm sure it would be beneficial to a great many people.


Gayle McCain said...

I remember my mother doing this right after her stroke. I just didn't know what I was looking at.

Thank you.


terri.forehand said...

Good to hear from all of you. I think a free ebook might be a great idea, I'm just not sure how to get it done. I will work on that. Thanks for the comments. I am lucky to be in a group with such talented writers. Terri